My boyfriend, James, is the greatest guy. He's always telling me that I'm before everything in his life; this means that he puts me before his friends, his work, his parents, etc. But the thing is, we met on the Internet, on a dating site. I'm not really going to get into why I was on an online dating site, but anyways... I'm so used to talking to him on the Internet, that it's really difficult to talk to him on the phone and face-to-face. I've gotten more used to him, but I don't want to change the idea that he has of me from instant messaging. But, unfortunately, I think I'm changing his mind - and it's for the worse. When he does something really nice for me, for example, it was cold outside one night, and he offered me his jacket. In my head, I was thinking: "ohhh, James's jacket! I'm so lucky! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.." but...I didn't say that. Instead, I said; "Oh no, I don't want it. Really, it's okay, I'll be fine. No, I don't want your jacket.." and I almost said that "This is stupid." And, his brother, Chase talks to me when I'm around James. He's so polite and friendly - and I just can't come around and be nice back. I try, but - I end up being rude. What's coming over me? I can't adjust to him...it's been 5 days, but I don't know how long it will take before I adjust to him and be myself. Right now, things aren't looking good for me. He's telling me to call him - does that mean he's hoping that I won't call so that he won't have to talk to me? I feel absolutely horrible. I also sent him an email about how I'm sorry for not acting like myself, but he didn't read it yet. See? I'm so chicken, I couldn't even talk to him on the phone, or face-to-face about it. He probably thinks that I'm some weird psycho that can't find a boyfriend...I really really like James, but I think I need time - and I don't want him to change his mind about me. PLease, I beg of anyone, PLEASE help me. Thanks. *sniffle*.
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, August 6, 2005 - R33D
Answer by: The Reality Factor
Hi Spazzie,
LOL! Calm down -- you sound as if you are going to POP! Listen up. Just be yourself; that's the key to a possible success in such a situation... that is if it's meant to work out. If you be yourself and nothing sparks, then you've weaved out yet another "Mr. Wrong". Heck, it's alot better than going through the motions many of us go through - just because we don't want to accept the fact that we don't belong with a someone. Just be optimistic. Because he told you to call don't mean he hope you wont. He probably hope you will! Maybe he wants to see if YOU care enough and have him on YOUR mind enough to do it! Trust me, I surely don't like doing all the calling in my relationship. It starts to seem as if I'm the only one putting forth effort -- as if she just don't care enough to call me. Remember to be yourself and don't rush it in any way. Remember that he's the guy, which means that HE'S supposed to be a bit more aggressive. You do what you can as a woman and see where things end up. If it doesn't happen, just remember not to attempt forcing it. It wont work! Just know that there are plenty good guys out their who dream to have a woman like yourself.
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