Title: Friendship out of control

By: AdrianThorn85

O.K I really need all the help I can get on this one. It's gonna be a long one so I hope your all ready for it. Ok so theres this girl I knew. We met one time at a paty a longgggg time ago, through a mutual friend. He wasn't interested in her so he brought her for me. Anyways we ended up becoming very good friends, and in the long run the mutual friend and this girl started going out. This was alomst 4 years ago this year. I've been very close to this girl since then, although we had a while where we weren't talking very much. Now it starts to get wierd because people are always telling me how she wants me, even when she was with her boyfriend. Not often or anything, but people would say that sometimes some of the things she would do around me were strange. But then again she was always a very forward going girl, and also sort of socially awkward, never really knew social rules very well, and certainly didn't follow them. I always wrote them off to be just things that she would do, because it was her style and never thought twice of it. Of course during this whole time on and off i liked her. Shes definatley a beautiful girl, and strangely enough also very very very much like me. We have the same family lives, the same hobbies, the same habbits, the same hobbits (that was a joke sorry lol). In fact we even look like we should be together. And i also think the girl is drop dead gorgeous, literally. Well her boyfriend is also my really good friend so i always just made myself think of her as one of the guys and that solved the problem. Except that one day in school she did something strange. We were sitting in computer class and she sorta leans over and ok i admit a good amount of cleavage was showin. So being me, and not being able to help it i sneaked a peak, i admit. The strange part was that she noticed me doing it, looked right at me, and leaned over more! I was shocked but thought that maybe it was just coincidence, or that she didnt even notice what she did. I wrote it off. Now at this point my one good friend (a girl) had been constantly telling me there was always somethin up with her, that there was always tension and stuff like that. Even when she came into my job one day, just to visit me, my friend and co worker, said the second she left "She definatley wants you" Except the strange part is i could never see it. I never even noticed it, but i was also really bad at picking up on it. Ther ewere always some wierd things, like we went on a trip to Costa Rica, and she would walk on the beach with me and leave her boyfriend, or he would go out to dinner with his friends and I would stay and she would decide to stay behind with me. Anyways in the mean time i got a girlfriend, also a beautiful girl, and amazing too. then things started to get really shady. One time my girlfriend was at a party with this girl (we'll call her Mary from here on out). Mary was talking to my girlfriend. Later mary says we have to talk, so i ask her whats wrong, and she tells me that my girlfrined told her that "i dont really care about him, and im just with him because he pays attention to me" Of course i freak out, but next thing i know Mary's boyfriend is saying he heard it to. So of course im like what the hell is going on here. I ask my girlfriend, she of course says nothing. I end up letting the issue lie. Not a week later Mary's boyfriend comes up to me and admits that he was wrong, he didn't really hear anything, and that Mary convinced him to tell me. I confront her about it, she says im sorry i was drunk mybe i just heard things. Ok, maybe you did, whatever, once again i wrote it off. I ended up pretty much stop talking to her for about 5-6 months, her and her boyfriend ran into problems, she slept with someone else and broke up, eventually got back together blah blah blah. So now they're back together and i start seein her around again. Now i realized when i wasn't seeing her that i really missed her alot, and missed being aruond her. So now shes back in the picture and my girlfriend at this point in time hates her. Of course Mary is making it clear she doesnt like me, never liked me. Even told me she doesnt, that if i had asked her for her number she wouldnt have given me it. I believe her of course, because im totally clueless even though everyone is telling me different. So we start goin to parties and stuff, and then within the last few months i start gettin a bit of feelins for Mary, nothin crazy just the old ones comin back. That and a bit of me missin her because she started makin new friend snad i missed back in the day when we were pretty much best friends. Then Mary starts doin some wierd things. Her and my girlfriend sorta start battling over me i spose but just little things nothin big. But then lately shes been actin really wierd and forward with me. Talkin about sex with me, how she wants it and how its good for her. Askin me to hang out and take rides with her. At parties when i talk to her she'll either stand there fidgeting like a bottle a day alchy off the drink for 2 weeks, playin with her hair her shirt her pants everything, or when shes drunk she grabs my arm and leans in uncomfortably close, so much so that i have to back away, and when i back away she just leans closer. Lots of other stuff too, when we're playing beer pong she always wants to be my partner, and she'll purposely stand in my way so that i bump into her all the time, and i catch her lookin a me all the time from across the room, and then when i catch her shell look down and look depressed. Unfortunatley for me i started to get real feelings for her, the sort you don't want when you have a girlfriend but I can't seem to help it. At the same time the thing saving me is that while I want her bad, and even like her, I knew that with her personality i wouldn't be able to handleher. Shes loud, obnoxious, and crazy. Really nice, and we obviously get along, but i just dont think i could handle her. Shes got a huge attitude, and is tuff to take, and shes not even really like a girl more like a guy. Just very out going, loves to drink, and play video games, yet looking at her you'd think shes a model. Now I keep thinkin of all the times we've had together in the past, and how we've always had alot of fun. Of course I can't hang out with her anymore because of my girlfriend and how they don't get along. Anyways Mary and her boyfriend had been rocky for 6 months, pretty obviously soon, although her overly flirting didnt start till prolly about August. But i just wrote it off because i figure hey whatever, I'm pretty sure she likes me but i can't stand her so im good right? She doesnt have that thing I need. I'm very much a close person, i like to be very close with whoever I'm with (only been in 4 relationships, this is the first serious one I'm in now), i like to spend time bein lazy in bed and cuddlin watchin movies, alot of quality time type of things, although i do my fair share of partying. And i thought hat Mary didn't have that aspect. Then last night she calls me up having a break down because she broke up with her boyfriend. I was the first person she called. She tells me that shes just upset, and feels like theres nothing there anymore, that it's not worth it. But that she also doesnt like anyone, and can't think of anyone else she would want to be with. My problem with this is three fold. First off she showed a really sensitive side when she called me crying, and really made me wonder if maybe her attitude and the way she acts are all just a front and that deep down she really is a caring and close person, and just puts on a big front ( i know i do it to, i come off as a hard tough person, and slightly obnoxious) Secondly I'm worried that i wont be able to see her anymore and that my friendship is going to fade. This isn't really so much a worry from the stand point that i have feelings for her, simply that I'm really worried that ill lose her as a friend, especially because my girlfriend doesnt like her (although me and my girlfriend have been rocky lately). I'm also worried for the third aspect because now shes available. I believe i may have a class with her next symester, and what if i start having really strong feelings for her that I can't ignore anymore? I feel like her recent flirting stuff has been just because of hte problems with her boyfriend but I don't know, because I think that it has been happening all along and i just never noticed it before because i had her so strongly defined as my friends girlfriend, and just another friend. And once i started seeing her as more i started to see how she flirted with me, and how other people saw it. Any help anyone has would be extremely useful. I'm beyond confused and really need some good advice and an outside opinion from people that don't know me or her. If you actually managed to read this I'm impressed so thanks alot.

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Friday, January 13, 2006 - thx!
Answer by: AdrianThorn85

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - hmmmm
Answer by: GreenFairyx