i have a boyfriend and it seems that lately he doesnt really want me around and my mom doesnt like him already but i love him with all my heart. i dont know what to do to get him to talk to me... he doesnt seem to want me to talk to him anymore. help me think of something to do about this. please!
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, January 21, 2006 - My two cents
Answer by: JonathanR33D
Hi JakesBabe32405,
The key is to stop trying so hard. Give this guy the time & space he needs. And you can only make things worse by pouring you heart out, telling him how much you miss him and love him - over and over again... well, atleast at this point anyway. I think you know what I getting at. Now I'm not telling you that things are going to work out in your favor by doing so, but taking such an approach will clarify your next step.
But how much time & space does one need? Obviously not too much. By him taking too long to respond tell you that he probably really want out. Not sure if you want to believe me? Well let's look at it from the female perspective. We all need our time/space at some point for whatever reason(s). Who knows, maybe you and your BF got into a huge arguement because you heard something about him and another girl. It turns out that he was possibly in the wrong. He can't even come up with a good excuse!! Now you don't want to go and acuse him for something you are probably wrong about; it would only cause him to resent. After thinking on it for a while, you decide that you just want some time & space to sort things out. How much time and space are you asking for?(hint: not waaay too much) Well, his so-called "subtle request" should be equivalent to what you would ask of him. If you feel that he is taking more time than this... well at that point things should be clear enough for you to make a clear choice.
If things work out in your favor, try taking a different approach in some areas. Simple things like giving him space from time-to-time would make a huge difference in your relationship. Just don't be all up under him all the time. Tell him you already made plans to go hang out with friends sometimes. Don't jump to every request!! However, if one of you opt out, just keep your head up. There is always someone else who can come and sweep you off your feet - and do it a lot better than he did. Take life a day at a time. Don't be vulnerable to just anything that comes along. You surely don't want a similar cycle, do you?
If by some small chance(hopefully small) you end up going through b/c of a break up, please be fair to other people. Some people tend to go searching for love in hope that it will hide or rid of their hurt. Of course, in their bad situation, they don't always make careful choices anyway. So as time pass, they realize that it's really not what they wanted, or maybe their garbage BF/GF comes back into the picture, so they end up hurting other people. And trust me -nothing is worse than being used by someone you really care about. But I'm sure you aren't this type of person. ;) ...let's just be optimistic and hope for the best in the end. I can tell that you really care about this guy so I wish the best for you. Good Luck!
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