Title: i cant find closure

By: hatsumomo

ive been seeing my partner for over a year now. i love him, but i can't seem to get over someone who isnt good for me (or any woman).

a few months before my boyfriend and i got serious i met a guy who i was immediately hooked on. he was a serious 'player' and so i should have known better, but for some reason i just couldnt say no. we only went out a few times but eventually he stopped contacting me and i got frustrated. he went away for a while and i grew bitter. when he came back he tried to talk to me but i had nothing but fury for him.

a year later, now with a partner, i met him again and felt all the same feelings i had before, including the fury. i spoke to him and decided i needed closure. i went out for a drink and told him all the things id felt when he had left, and he told me his version of things. that night he told me how much he missed me and how he wanted me back, NO CLOSURE. i didnt respond but we talked over the phone some more. eventually it got too much, and on a drunk night out i broke down and told him i wanted the 'idea' of him, but that i knew in reality that wasnt what i was being offered. i asked him if i left my partner and we tried to make it work, would he be around in a month. he said he couldnt guarantee anything, and so i walked away, point being proven.

there are so many times he has made me feel inadequate and ignored that i cant even relay them. during the year of not contacting him he also hooked up with a friend of mine and it turned out he did exactly the same stint to her.

even knowing all this i can't forget him, im desperate to talk to him and i still crave his attention when i see him.even his friends tell me he is bad news, and still its all sugar coated when he is around. i love my partner, but the idealistic image i keep on wanting of this guy is tearing me apart. How can i move on??? i feel so treacherous to my partner.