Title: Am I wrong?

By: catch22

I am 40 years old. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have always had our ups and downs and after 12 years, you think you have them figured out. Everything had been going great between us. 3 months ago I took a second job (mostly for christmas money) and I wasn't home Monday thru Thursday til late, so I never got to see my husband much during the week. He works a second job on Friday and Saturday nights, so the only time we really got to spend together was a few hours saturday evening and on sunday. He has occasional out of town jobs that he does, so that means he's gone even more, but on sundays we spend time together and all is well. I have missed my husband a great deal and have wanted more time with him, so circumstances arose that allowed me to quit my second job and be home more. He was gone Thursday thru Sunday this past week, so on monday was my first night home. He told me that he needs time to get use to me being at home again, that it is an adustment from me not being there, to all of a sudden being there again. I felt like a stranger in my own home! I felt like I was imposing on him now and that his time alone meant more to him than having more time with me. So for the past week I have been trying to make sure he has his space at home, if he's in one room I'll be in another. He says I am avoiding him. I just know if it were the other way around and he was suddenly home more, I would welcome the idea of being able to spend more time with him, I certainly wouldn't make him feel like I got so use to my alone time that I need time to adjust to him being there. I mean, after all..we have been married for 12 years and have 2 teenagers that also live at home. AM I WRONG to have taken what he said as hurtful? In the past, if he says I need to wear my makeup more, I try to make it better, if he says I need to clean more, I try to please him there also, if he says the sex could improve, I break my back to make it better. I try my best to please him and be the woman that will make him happy, but now I find myself questioning how he really feels about me? He says I need counciling to help me figure out how to distinquish the difference in what people say and whether it's something I need to take offense to. He thinks my past has alot to do with it, because I grew up feeling neglected, so I automatically think he's rejecting me when he says things like he said. He said he doesn't mean it the way I took it, but how would another woman take it? AM I WRONG? I need your honest opinions...thanks.