about a month ago i started talking to a really great guy. we have hung out several times and talk almost everyday. both of us have recently become single again after serious reationships. after hanging out a few times we did end up having sex at his place which was completely unexpected but it wasnt awkward at all we actually hung out again the day after. this guy has told me that he is afraid to start a reationship with me because he has been hurt alot in the past and he still has some feelings for his ex who is moving away, he doesnt really trust anyone he hasnt known for a long time and is afraid of being screwed over again, and in a past e mail he told me he wasnt worth getting upset over. my question is how can i let this guy know he is worth it and how do i get him to realise that im not going to screw him over. i really like this guy and it hurts me to see him with such low self esteem. i dont want him to shy away from me like he does sometimes but he says its because hes afraid of becomming attatched. im not the kind of person who is going to hurt him like the others have, and i dont think he gets that. how can i help him feel better about himself and help him realise that im not the kind of person who would screw him over in a relationship?
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, March 15, 2006 - you don't need to
Answer by: Danni1
funny thing, I just went through this with a guy who I absolutely adored. He told me that even though he had these really intense feelings for me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that I deserved better than him anyway. I felt the same way you do, that he was so much better than that and that he was worth my time and that eventually he would see that. Well, the sex was great, but after the umteenth time of being told that he loved me and then two days later being pushed away, my heart couldn't handle it anymore. The thing is, you need to think about yourself, not him. You're thinking, but I am thinking of me, I want to be with him. Well, if you want to be with him, let him get through any issues he has BEFORE you get involved with him. Be his friend, but give him space. And find yourself. You said you recently got out of a relationship too, right? Right now you're feeling needy and helpless and want to be needed and helpful. Well, put that energy that you would put towards him to yourself and maybe, hopefully, because you sound like a sweet person, once you two have worked out your issues, it will only be a matter of time before you get with him or meet someone else.
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