I have probably the best girlfriend in the world. She's smart, hilarious, beautiful, sexy, and kind. All of my friends love her, and my parents love her too. She even loves sports as much as I do, and the sex is otherworldly. She doesn't drink, and doesn't mind driving my buddies and me to and from the bar on Friday or Saturday nights.
Here is my problem: she smokes marijuana. Not a lot, but I'd say several times a week. I am so uncomfortable with it, and I don't know how to talk to her about it. It seems unfair to criticize her for this because she doesn't criticize me for enjoying a few beers with my friends; and in fact, even drives me with a smile on her face because she doesn't want any of us to drink and drive. She says that she doesn't drink because it makes her say and do stupid things, but that she smokes pot because "it makes her feel silly and happy, and she just lays on the couch and eats pretzels." She also has said that she has engaged in a variety of reckless behaviors while drinking in college, and she is just totally not into alcohol, but she's not judgmental of anyone else. And she's not.
She doesn't smoke cigarettes at all, which would be a dealbreaker for me. I love her so much, I'm just not down with the illegal drug usage. What can I do?
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, March 23, 2006 - talk to her
Answer by: Danni1
This is a hard question. This comes down to morals and beliefs. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. If it means that much to you, don't keep it in with fear that you might lose her. It sounds like she may have a problem, but, maybe that's just what makes her comfortable instead of drinking. This is a very hard question to answer. Look inside yourself and decide if this is what you want. If she's as cool as what you say ask yourself if you can deal with it for long term. Or maybe she feels like she has to do something to keep up with you and your friends but, as you said, doesn't want to drink. Talk to her and see if maybe both of you should meet middle ground-you not drinking as much, her not smoking as much.
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