Title: Need Advice

By: marilyn1

Mark is now 50 years, I am 47 years. After 9/11 Mark lost a lot of money in the market... he was misrable and decided to sell his land and move out of state to recup his losses. We broke up some what mutually. He called ever week for 6 months... he got a girlfriend and a fight to win him back... he was going to take me to a wedding in NY and said "we will take it one day at a time." Well, the day of his arrive, which he now knows, I bought new cloths, cooked his favorite meals, bought champage, I was not going to loss him a second time. The day of his arrival never came, his dog died. He did say he would still visit in two weeks. After a week he called and said he couldn't even be my friend. Well I flipped, I cried to him for two days drinking etc. He was so angry, meanwhile I was sucker punched. I now know, and this is not excuse for him, his relocation, loss of dog, the bad weather in florida and I believe a mid-life crisis setting in... he was most likley feeling almost as bad as myself for different reasons.

A friend of mine called him a few months later... it went fairly well, he did say "she would make a good Italian wife." He did tell her he was going to call me. Well, I made the mistake and tried to reach out to him for the next year and a half every 3 months and all I got were hang ups and bad mouthed by him, the last call was one year three months ago. In the interim, his friend John professed his love to me, I was surprised, I tole John his family needs him, he was married. Mark cought wind and he was on a 3 day drinking spree calling everyone including my mother in an attempt to break us up when actually we were not even dating. Then John's 20 year old daughter died...Mark was at the wake, when he saw me he rushed over when I was on line for the viewing. I then ran to the back to sit, I looked up at him and we locked eyes, I looked really good (his weakness), and I looked sad and scared too. It appeared he wanted so much to approch and say something... then he vanished to catch his plan. Nothing came of it, I still tried to call, with the same results... nasty and he hung up.

Someone tell me is it possible one day he will forgive and realize who really loves him and call me? I am confused because at one time he was so so crazy about me, he treated me great, he made so many promises for our future... then bang, he changed after 9/11. I litterelly lost everything from the ripple effect, I live back home, my income decreased 50%, I don't have my independence anymore, and most importently, I lost the man I love. I pray day and night for his reuturn. I will not give up, my love for him is real and I miss him and need him. Please help me.