I suppose it's not really a question, so much as my need to get it out. I've been in a relationship for quite some time, and although it has had it's ups and downs, thing have been pretty good. I have even thought about asking the person I'm with to marry me a few times, but not ready yet. Things are going pretty good for me, I bought a house, I have a nice car, a career that I love and that pays me very well.
But I saw a picture of my ex the other day, and it just brought back memories that I thought were gone. I don't know, it has been a few years and I hadn't had a thought about her in a long time. But once I saw the picture, it was as if it just happened. The only thing is that I don't want to be with my ex. I know that my ex isn't the person I was with, and I have absolutely no desire to try to get what I once had.
But when I do see the picture of my ex, all I do see is the person I love. I see my ex hugging someone else, and I just think that it's supposed to be me. The only thing is that my ex is gone. It may look like my ex, may sound like my ex, may make me feel like I once did at the sight of my ex, but that person is gone.
What it has done is made me question the current relationship I'm in. Before this, I was perhaps getting closer the idea of marriage, but now I feel that it wouldn't be fair to my partner, since I feel like the one person I want to be with, is someone else. I wish I didn't feel this way, wish I didn't have these doubt, and wish I never saw that picture.
Perhaps it is the finality of the picture that made me see this. I suppose I had maybe held a little hope in the back of my mind that things might change, that paths might cross, that the story book ending that we all dream about would happen. Wow, this has gotten kinda long.
I hope you didn't read this whole thing, and I hope that you don't have to go through this. Some of my friends know what I'm going through, others have no clue. Either way, I'm sure this will pass. I'm sure that I'll stop holding on to those few good memories, and hold on to what I have now. I just want to be fair to my partner, and right now, my feelings are not.
Thanks for letting me vent. I had missed this place.
Responses to this article:
--- Sunday, May 7, 2006 - weve all been there and done that
Answer by: Krystal11
I think weve all been there and done that, you look at the picture and think of what couldve been if you were still together and maybe your life would be better with that other person. When i was going threw that phaze of doubt and confusion I just imagined the picture of my partner iam with now and howd i feel in a couple years about how wonderful things were and whatd could have been. If that dosent work just imagine your partner and them imagine them gone, if that dosnet change your mind maybe you shouldnt be with your partner
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