OK the title isnt true, last time i got a really helpful response. I'm reposting this just cus the month ended and i wannaa see if i can get some more help, thx if you read this. Ok anyways I have been friend's with this girl i know for about 4 years now. When i first met her she blew my mind, she was pretty much i figured everything i was looking for in a girl. We hung out once but to make a long story short she ended up with one of my good friends for the last few years. But not before i became really close friends with her and have stayed that way. So i stayed single for a while and managed to push the girl out of my head, she was a friend and only a friend and i managed to keep that line pretty clear. I ended up getting an amazing girlfriend who I'm currently with. We've been together for a year and a half now. Except within the last 8 months or so i've slowly been thinking more and more of my friend. The attraction was always there, and truth is any girl i've ever looked at or thoguht about i compare to this girl. Back in january she was at alot of parties i'd be at and she started to do some wierd things around me. Everyones always said that they can sense a tension when the two of us are in a room, and even i realized i can too. Alot of people have said we should even be together or that we will be. In the begining tho i brushed it all off, she was a friend and thats all. My girlfriend hates her because she thinks that i've been cheating on her. In fact shes destroying my relationship over it, when really nothing has gone on. Although shes destroying it over other shit to. So anyways at parties and such she would do small things, the usual, like play with her hair the whole time i talk to her, bump into me more than usual, when she would talk to me she'd stand wayyyy to close to my face, like inches, much more close than anyone would be comfortable with. Of course my girlfriend saw all this and wasnt happy. Me and my friend started talking almost every night for a month or two. Before this we had had a period where we didnt really talk for like 5 months and i really missed her durin that time. So during schoole every wednesday me and my friend would hang out for like an hour or two in between classes. My girlfriend thought this was incredably sketchy, and that i was being a horrible person. Then my girlfriend decided that was that she hated her and i wasn't allowed to talk to her or see her (sorta rediculous, its not like my gf knew anything, she just simply said i hate her, you cant talk to her, one day). So one day my gf and my friend got along and were friends, and the next day just hated each other. So obviously i haven't done that, i've been talking to her but haven't seen her except at an occasionasl party or something and then we ignore each other, which makes the tension about 1000 times worse because you can tell we have to do it on purpose. So anyways she broke up with her boyfriend (my friend)a while ago. She was really upset every night, partially over him and partially because she can't talk to me or see me. Although now shes pretty much over it and mostly is just pissed that we can't hang out. We have been makin plans though, just to like hang out or go somewhere well um secretly. She's always told me that I'm like a brother to her and thats it. And she talks to me about other guys occasionally, mostly like "What do you think, does he sound nice" and that bs. But the thing is is when im around her or see her she does NOT get a look in her eyes that says "He's like a brother to me" its definatley a different look all together. And she'll look at me constantly, and even though we can't talk now she'll find some way to be near me. Even my girlfriend says that it's almost like a pathetic romeo and juliet, except the problem is i never even did anything with her and nothing EVER happened, we were just friends and i never knew where any of that stuff came from or why people would say it. And unfortunatley, i think of her now more than ever. I feel like shit because lately me and my gf have been having alot of problems, and i literally can't get my friend off my mind. I was always so good at keeping that line clear as a friend and now theres no line anymore, and if there was im way past it. I think about her way to much, i'll wait up to talk to her when i can. She always tells me that i need to break up with my gf, that shes not right for me (shes never liked a single girl ive been involved with, theyre always not good enough, or somethin is always wrong with them) She's always been to me pretty much the perfect girl, and everyone's always said that we act wierd together. Even her boyfriend (my friend) accused us of having somethin, but there never was. Even people walking down the street have said things to us about us when we would be together at a place. So anwyays all this has added up and now i have a huge problem. I have a girlfriend whom I care about deeply, but i can't help but wonder if maybe im really sposed to be with this other girl, we do have alot more in common, small things but stuff like we both want to backpack across europe, or love history stuff like that, little things that me and my gf dont have. And now that things are getting shaky in my relationship ive been talkin to my friend again like every night. And i really can't stop thinking of her. I even dream of her for no reason sometimes. I'm just confused as hell because everthing was so perfect and now everythings gone to hell. And to top it all off i still wonder if her having a thing for me is all in my mind or if its real. And if it's real why would she talk about other guys or tell me im like a brother in the first place. Also i can't directly ask her or tell her how i feel, because theres a good chance she'd tell my gf cus they hate each otehr and have a little private battle. Well if you all read this i really appreciate it, i know it's wayyyy to long. Even if anyone doesnt tho it's good to get off my shoulders. I have NO ONE i can talk to about this, not a single person and it's really hard thinking about all this without gettin out, so thx for the advice.
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, July 7, 2006 - bj,bj,.
Answer by: eskEMO
holey cow, i read this. okayy sooo....the first thing that came to my head was. i mean i'm not going to respond to all your questions and doubts, but when i look at your situation as a whole. i sort of think that maybe you should end your relationship with your girlfriend. but now that i say that, maybe she's actually worth something to you. since you have been with her for a year or soo..so that's hard. maybe you should clear the air between you and your friend...your confused about your guys' relationship, as am i. so set things straight-err. and i almost think its ridiculous that you'd write all this out,i think you know what you have to do. your just looking for other ways to do so. and if you really don't know what to do, tell your friend how you feel..and tell your girlfriend how you feel about this friend. it sounds almost dumb but see if you tell your friend whatit is that your thinking then maybe you can get and end or a start tothings. and whatever she says itseither , a.your friend decides that she might like like you and you of course have to tell your girlfriend or as what most ppl would do just break it off with another girl (sounds terrible) or b.tell your friend what you think, and get rejected and live with the fact that YOU told a another girl that you like/love whatever her while your still with your girlfriend, and after you do so. your girlfriend will un-knowingly be the girl that you 2ndly settled with after being rejected by the first true like/love/girl of your...everyday dreams. and no girl should have to take that,...so make one of them your first. you know, you might loose one or the other. but its better than this confusion. take a risk, and learn to live with your mistake. and if it goes well then, well you know. :]] kay bye
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