Title: divorce or not to divorce

By: sayam

I dont want to break my marriage but I had to. I mean not that its broken yet but I don't want to get a divorce or don't want to give divorce. I mean I chose the guy and got married not my parents. Im kind of upset because I want to work things out but my husband who I love so much is not cooperating with me. I know he loves me too but I wish he showed me just how much he cares about me how much he wants to work things out with me to be with me. He's not doing anything but saying things like im doing this for the sake of love or yeah im going to do this and that which he never keeps it a promise. I gave him so many warning signs told him so many things like if you fight with me im leaving i left once before and then i told him if i leave again im not coming back home to you anymore but he never listend so i left him again. My parents don't want me to be with him anymore they don't want me to go back to him anymore. I don't want to either, but i can't keep breaking marriages then keep getting married again. I already unpacked my bags. & Sometime I feel I cannot live with out him no matter if we argue or if he hits me or i hit him. I really dont want to go back where he is I just want my husband to come to me and take me to live somewhere else like an open place. im so sick of living with my parents. I dont actually need the freedom my parents give me but i just need to go places specially go out with him but he doesnt have good job doesnt have a car and on top of that he hits me and i have to take his shit. im just scared if next time i decide i want to be with him will my parents stop me from going to him? Ever since I left him im feeling lost & confused and dont feel like moving on. He doesn't get off my back asking him to give him a divorce I dont want to because I love him. I want to wait and see if we can compromise but he is always the one talking about divorce hes rushing for divorce. He told me if i dont give him then he will but he hasnt yet. my parents and i think he wont ever do it.mostly people tells me hes just using me for my papers i mean i understand he needs paper but how can i give him when he treats me like a scum bag, hits me and takes my money. so i told him that if he gives me 15,000$ then i will give him his paper and i'll go back but he doesnt have any money and he wont give divorce. i dont know how i should have him cooperate with me. he just wants things his way. i cant for get about him no matter what. because i love him so much. but cant move on.