I love my boyfriend. We’ve been together almost seven months now, and we’ve known each other and been good friends for two years now. He’s also been in the army for the past year and a half. I love him and I want to marry him someday. But nothing is perfect. I just graduated high school, so he’s missed a lot since he’s been gone. Homecoming, my only prom, graduation, the typical senior stuff. He also missed Valentine’s Day—as in, he never once mentioned it, didn’t even call me that day. He calls me once a day, if that much, and we only talk for about five minutes. Those five minutes consist of him complaining about his work (he cleans and does paperwork mostly), and how depressed he is, and then he asks how my day was, like an afterthought. Then he goes back to his bitching about work. I know the army keeps him busy, so he might not have time to call—but when he complains about being bored for hours a day, and he doesn’t call me? When he’s been able to come home, I’ve had to drive everywhere we go, and since he lives about half an hour away, the gas money is kind of getting A LOT. I’ve also been paying for most of our meals, or else he eats with my family, who pays. Recently I put together this little gift for him. I also try to be thoughtful and sweet. I am always there for him whenever he needs to talk. I’m as supportive and loving as I know how to be, because that’s how I want him to be. But because of all this, I’m feeling like he really doesn’t care about me, and I’m definitely feeling unappreciated. I’ve tried dropping little hints—NEVER making him feel guilty, because he does a good job of that on his own. I tried to mention prom and he said rather huffily, “Just rub it in, why don’t you?” And when I mentioned Valentine’s Day, he told me the story of how in a previous relationship he found out his girlfriend was cheating on him on Valentine’s Day. He took the gift I made for him without a thankyou of any kind. But I never complain to him. He has a hard enough time with the rest of the world; I really want to be there for him. I just want someone to bring me flowers once in my life. He doesn’t have to be my servant, but I think maybe I deserve to be treated special. Of course if he was in Iraq I wouldn’t be expecting this, but he’s stationed states away here in the US. I'm really not materialistic, I just want to be treated special for once... So I guess my question is, how can I approach him without making him defensive? A little appreciation would be nice… Is there anything I can do?
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, July 10, 2006 - u r a very generous person
Answer by: A*Lonely*Girl
ok i know this seems like a loose loose situation cuz if u keep quiet ur hurting and if u say somethin hes probably gonna be a little upset dont sit their and complain like he has but little by little tell him u miss him and theirs so many memmories hes missed, tell him u love him but ur afraid he dosent care ne more juss tell him how u really feel say u r so happy that he is helpin his country and doing a good job but u juss want to here i miss u and i love u once in a while....u shouldnt be the one makin all the sacrifices he needs to make some too even if he does have a job he needs to be their for u more he sounds like a good guy but it sounds like hes forgotten how it used to be and how it should be i know this is gonna be hard and u might get in an argument but let him know ur not tryin to start somethin u juss want to know what he wants and u want to tell him what u want....well i hope that helped Good Luck!!!
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