Title: Friendship or love?

By: LoveCanBePain

It's about a year, a new girl came to class. After a while, we kind of met and we started a friendship. Soon she became the best friend in my whole life. We were always together, talked about nonsenses and laughing. As the months passed, we were more fond on each other, but it was still within the bounds of friendship. Then the school year ended, holidays passed and on September we returned to school. Then it all started.

As I looked upon her, I suddenly saw her differently and I noticed the difference inside me. I started to love her. You will probably say: "Cool! Dating your friend is an easy task. Don't be such a loser." And you're probably right. But let me finish, I will explain all in the end.

In the beggining it was like a weak flame, but it was feeding itself with fuel, it started to grow and grow. Firstly I was partially shocked, I didn't know what to do, and acted in a style: wait and see. And I saw. I loved her more and more, day after day, week after week. Few days ago we and some other friends went to a swimming pool. When I returned home I was near collapsing.

For about a month I had depressions. Some were bearable, some were really bad. (Love can sometimes really be a beast, don't you think?) She noticed it, asked what it's about, but I said nothing.

At this stage you definitely ask: "So where's the problem? Go to her and tell her the truth! Either she'll dump you or you'll succeed. At least you'll know!" You're right but there is a little flaw in it. Just read carefully.

Here is the problem. She is my friend. She cares for me, I care for her. I'm an important person to her, but don't forget, friendship is NOT love! And I am convinced that i am ONLY a friend to her. In the pool I had a little chat with her, trying to gain knowledge by indirect questions. (like: Nobody likes me, haw can I find myself a girlfriend. You know somebody who would love me?) I don't know it for 100%, but I know her for some time, and the way he speakes to me, the way she behaves, I am convinced that I am a really good friend to her, something like her brother, but nothing more.

I should tell her, at least try it, I know it would help me, whatever the result will be. But it's difficult. You see, in the pool, she asked me: "Why are you so sad, what troubles you? Is it Love?

"BINGO!" I thought, "but you don't know it's about you." Look at it this way. She fells sorry for me. She cares for me. And she wants to help me. Now, how would she feel, if I tell her, that it's all because of her? (even if not her fault). How would she feel, if I tell her, that I suffer because of her and she can't do anything about it?

And now, I don't know what to do. I am torn apart. I can't tell her for her sake (and I'm also too afraid to do it). If I'll just keep it to myslef, I'll either explode or collapse. Because from day to day, it's worse and i love her more and more. Each time I see he, it's like a cold blade piercing my heart.

What should I do?