Title: Is he over his Past?

By: agatha1208

I've been dating this guy that I met at work for 6 months now. It was one day in July that he asked me to get together after work for drinks and things have progressed really well up until this passed weekend. I was hesitant to start seeing him because I always have a rule w/myself that I wouldn't date people at work - well he no longer works with me (he was on a contract level) and when I started asking other coworkers to give me the scoop on this guy (before I went on a date w/him) - I found out that he's divorced as of this year and has a 3 year old son (he's 34). Well I thought to myself that I really can't judge a person by their past so I gave it a shot and went out w/him after work for drinks. We've been seeing each other ever since that date - we've gone on a mini-vacation together to La Jolla, we have a lot in common and I really enjoy spending time w/him. He has the type of qualities that I'm looking for in a guy. I really care for him but there's something that's bothering me that happened this passed weekend. First of all, on Friday, I've celebrated my big 30. I had made plans for us to have a cruise dinner (tickets were purchased by my sister and given to me as a gift). While I'm at his place where he's getting ready for our night out, he tells me to open my gifts. My first question was - "Where's my card?". When I was over his place during the week he showed me a card he got his exwife (there were a bunch of cards laying on his counter and he first showed me a card that he got for his moms bday on Dec. 29th and so in that same stack was a card for his exwife - (since her bday happens to fall on the same exact day) so he got his exwife a card (that came from his son) and he didn't pick one up for me. I think a card holds alot of sentimental value than material things. That really bothered me and that his excuse was that he could'nt find the "perfect card". I'm still bitter about the card. While some of my friends say that I'm overreacting and that I should give him a break, other friends are saying that I have every right to be upset. I really like him and care for him, but the card thing really got to me. I'm trying to determine if the absence of a sentimental gift tells me that he's not ready to be emotionally involved with someone else? Am I overreacting and thinking about this too much? Help!

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Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - Overreacting
Answer by: gregg@loveisgreat.com