Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months. im 25 hes 28. i have had sex with over ten people. every kind of sex, every different position, and for the most part no one has had a problem turning me on. Problem now is, my boyfriend isnt wild in bed, doesnt do what i want him to do, doesnt touch where i want him to touch, he kind of just does what he can and thats it. i want him to do so many things to me but he never does. how do i tell him? i am afraid to hurt his feelings but i need more. what should i do?
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--- Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - Give it time
Answer by: starfox_04
You have only been dating three months. Is he (was he) a virgin? If you don't know that, maybe you could use that question to bring it up. That could also be the root of his issue. Or is he really religious? Maybe he doesn't want to do anything besides straight up mechanical sex.
If those aren't the answers, then my guess is he probably just doesn't know or feel comfortable doing what you want. Next time you are making out and starting to get heated, stop the action and just tell him. Let him know the truth, that you like to be touched in certain places. Maybe tell him it is hard for you to get off if you aren't touched in certain ways. If that seems too direct, maybe you could try telling him what to do when you guys are.. engaging in the moment. For example, he starts going while skipping foreplay, whisper "No..." and direct his hand to where you want it. I've found that seems to work, they usually get the point then.
If you guys are having sex then this conversation shouldn't be too difficult or embarrassing. Tell him you like to mix it up in the bedroom. Just see what he says. Maybe he will say that he isn't comfortable with that. Ask him if he would be willing to at least try some things, and start out slow, don't jump right into S&M or whatever you do. If he is uncomfortable with things, it is going to take time. So just be patient with him and respect his wishes. If he doesn't want to do something, don't make him or guilt him into doing it.
If he says he never wants to do anything besides what he is doing, you have a choice to make. Would you be ok with that, or would you rather dump him now before you get too serious? Your choice.
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