Ok in 4th grade I always thought this guy named Andrew at my church was really cute. And I started to get away from church in middle school and just stoped going I started to hang with the wrong crowed and hated myself then in 9th grade my sister told me I should start going back to church so I did I was moved by god and I wanted to give my life back to god and ask him back into my heart my life has done a turn around and I love it! Well the next time I went to church I met back up with Andrew and man he was cute as EVER and to see how much love he had for god just blew me AWAY! We are just alike we think school is very important and both have great grades and we share the same love for god. But there is this one problem Andrew has never had a girlfriend and he is VERY VERY shy. That does not help me out one bit because I get mixed signs from him I dont know if he likes me or not. Everytime we talk its about school or track or horseback rideing and he smiles alot when I talk to him. But everytime we talk I dont see him the next week at church and I dont know if its because he does not like me and does not want to see me or if its because he is shy. I am soooo scared he will not like me because of my passed and he could get so much better but I just want him to see that I am a good person and now and would really like him to date me. I feel like I am not good enough for him and I want to know if he likes me or not. Or maybe its because his mom and dad dont let him date. All I know is when he walks by me my heart drops and I just want to learn more about him he is a great guy and I want to know if anyone could help me and tell me what to do!!!!!!!! Thanks you so much for taking the time and reading this God Bless Autumn Right now we are friends and I sometimes dont make it look like I like him by being kinda shy with him to
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 -
Answer by: Zach
Well, I'll give you some advice from Andrew's perspective because he sounds a lot like me. I have had a couple of girlfriends. But, if Andrew seems to open up to you, chances are he likes you. When I like a girl, I don't let her know because every time I have, she would be a jerk to me afterwards. This might be whats going on with Andrew. If you ain't as shy as him, you are going to have to confront him. I know that since I am a christian, I try to avoid people that are into "the wrong crowds" and it sometimes takes me a while to trust someone that use to be that way.
P.S. When I met my girlfriend, she smoked, drank and had just gotton out of drugs. But, she was very beutiful and talked to me a lot and I realised that she was a great person and now she is all cleaned up.
--- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 -
Answer by: Biridiana
Ok girl, Why don't you give him a call or just talk to him when you see him. Tell him what's going on. If he is shy well then your just goona have to help him try to motivate himself. You know what I mean. Everyone haves had a crush on someone and haves been shy. I'm saying in the point of view of mine. You see I'm not aloud to date anyone right now and I'm 15. My first crush I was very nervous when it came up to that I had to say hi to him at church you know the usual god bless you thing. Well, the only way that I got my feelings out was by writting letters to him. My homeboy would give it to him. But it ended up my friend asking me out before that other boy asked me out. I told him that I would think about it because of my parents.He just said " all u have to say is yes or no " Well, I told him before church was over yes. We ended going out for 3 years. It was very scary but he would bring me back up. So like a christian all i'm trying to say is that u need to bring out what he acctually feels deep inside. It seems that he might still like you if he is shy. Why don't you write him a letter and see what he responds. Hope it helps. Just trust in god!!! Anytime you need to speak to someone just e-mail me to minny72002@yahoo.com I'm a good listener Always, Biridiana
--- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Okay Autumn - first off, don't think that you are any less of a person, in fact look upon yourself as a stronger person for having escaped the clutches of a wrong crowd. That in itself should be applauded and you should be proud of how you have turned your life around... many aren't so smart.
Okay so Andrew has never had a girlfriend - every guy has been there & if he's shy then this only adds to the problems that you are currently facing. HOWEVER, this does not mean that you should give up on him because of his personality traits - you need to accept them as being part of who he is. Which, as you are a Christian, I am sure you already do.
So... where to go from here... understand that with guys who are shy and inexperienced, even if they really like you they may let their shyness and fear of rejection cause them to hide away and never approach you. I know from experience that these guys let potentially great relationships pass them by because of their social/romantic fears. This also applies to girls :) But often it is us who have to take the initiative and instigate something.
Let me say that you ARE good enough for him and you also have many things in common, this equals a potentially sweet romance. I think you know this already it's just your past which is preventing you from opening yourself up and being you.
It sounds like you know a lot about him 'generally' but you are only scraping the surface with him and that's what's frustrating you. I totally understand. You need to try to get him alone and make him feel comfortable with you. You can do this by being friendly and by asking him easy questions - basically by putting him at ease - you're his friend so this should be easy.
Try your very best to banish your own shyness, from experience with my guy who's shy it was me who was initiating everything - if I left it up to him we would never be together - which is a real shame when you sense that they like you but are too scared to act upon it. We are both Christians and share the same interest and we have the perfect relationship, we're best friends.
You just need the confidence to take a chance and realise your own worthiness. Only then can you let someone love you. You know what you want; all you have to do is have faith in yourself. Seek solace in prayer and gain strength from the Lord.
I've got faith in you to do this, let those barriers down and get to know this guy properly :)
From one Christian to another I wish you good luck. God Bless you.
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