Title:
What am I feeling and what do I do about it?
By:
Alex
In my last year at secondary I found myself attracted to this girl who shared some of my classes. I thought it would just pass but as time went on I found that I could not stop looking at her, trying to make her notice me.
Once or twice our eyes met but I broke the contact almost straight away and I don't now why! What made it worse was that some times I would catch her clancing at me. I was unsure however if she was interested or just trying to work out what I wanted.
Towards the end of the year I plucked up the courage to actually ask her out. It was really hard. I almost didn't do it. Before I'd said to myself be calm, say nothing stupid like "I've never done this before" but when it came to it my mind went blank. It was like I wasn't in control anymore and I ended up saying some stupid things, or so it seemed.
Anyway she told me she couldn't go out with me because she already had a boyfriend. At first this crushed me. It felt like the world had just blown up in my face. I muttered some words and walked away. I really felt depressed. I'd been begging God to give me a chance to ask her out without her friends being around and it was to no avail.
I thought that was it, I'd lose this feeling for her but its almost 4 months ow since that incident and my feelings have doubled. What's worse is I can't attempt to get in with her friends to find out more because she'll know that I like her and her friends might too if shes told them.
Everytime I think about her boyfriend I get overcome with self pity and jealosy that he's with her and not me. I've often wondered if it's Love of just an crush that won't lie down but the problem is I don't know what Love feels like so I don't know what I'm feeling actually is.
I guess what I'm asking is for someone to tell me what I'm feeling and what I should do about this feeling and about her. I'm afraid to talk to my parents because of the way they might react. I've only told my dad her name and my friends that I asked someone out, but I won't talk to my parents now because my sisters found out and she will try to tell everyone and then I'll have to put up with that as well.
Just today I walked passed her at College induction and I felt my heart move up you know? I really need some help. In case it helps her name is Sophie and she's 6 months older than me.
I just want to be with her. When I think about it I get this ache in my chest and I get a strong urge to pick her up and hold her. I just want some advice.
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 -
Answer by: Dr. Philgood
Well first of all, how long have you known Sophie? I'd say that this is not so much love, as it is passion. I don't know your whole story so I will have to do some guessing. She is most likely a very attractive girl and that is what caught your eye. Then, after a while you got to talking to her and ended up liking her personality as well. First off, you have to ask yourself this question. "If I talked to her first and liked her personality and when I finally saw her, she was very ugly, would I still want to be with her?" If you said yes, then you must be in love with her. But if you said no, then it is clearly a crush and it is blocking your judgment. Love is the most complicated thing in life. I know you probably can't stop thinking about her and you probably feel like you are going insane, but in time the feeling will pass. You will have to either let her know exactly how you feel or do something to get your mind off of her. Hang out with some buddies and have a good time. If it is just a GIANT crush, it will eventually pass. I hoped this helped.
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