Title: cursed in love?

By: allyson

everyone seems to be subconsciously attracted to the other by some unknown force or reason. someone are attractive to heavier ones while some are attractive to models. i? i am attracted to homosexual men. i always fall in love with the gay guys. i just can't help but like how they are - a little femmie, sensitive, not super macho, and able to always make me laugh. to me, they're more of a guy than straight men, but that leads to a problem of a woman seeking one of these guys.

there has been only one straight guy I've loved, but never went out with, and now i seem to be falling out of this crush slowly. it seems he just isn't as great as other guys i want to date - and then i find out at some point they end up being gay.

i know i can't have them, so as soon as i try so hard to get over them i fall for another. currently, i've realized i fell in love with a guy at my work who is gay. i know he hasn't really said he's gay, but what he has said, and does, pretty much proves the theory [we had lunch together in the break room, and a commercial for spider man 2 was on, and he then went on how they could have picked a so much more attractive guy than tobey maguire. little stuff like that]

the other problem with this guy is that i think he is married to another guy - not that i had a chance with him, being gay, but i think it would help better knowing there is zero chance with him [there are hints that he could be bisexual since he seems to have a thing for jessica simpson].

so what am i trying to get out of this all? what i want to know is how you can tell if a gay guy is married [such as does the wedding band go on the other ring finger?], am i cursed to only like gay men since it seems they seem to be the only ones i am attracted to, and lastly - are all bisexual guys like gay men or do they act more like your average straight [or both]?

sorry that this a little lenghty, but i thought giving a little detial would help for the best. thanxs everyone for reading this!

love
allyson