Hello,I really need some help.You see I get so lonely when I'm not with anyone. So lonely I often feel I msut kill myself. But then if I finally get with someone I get so incredibly nervous then I wont even go as far as kissing them beacause Im so nervous. . What do I do? Someone help me with this. What I do about the loneliness and then nervousness and shyness? Oh someone please help me! SHB
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, September 2, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Well, I don't normally frequent the Teen Section but the title of your post caught my eye. I've been there... I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. I'm just outta my teens but this is still a problem I face, to a lesser extent I admit, even today & I think it will always be with me - you just have to find your own way of dealing with this. There's always hope...
Ya know, something makes a person place so much emphasis on other people, on how they might think of you & on how well you're doing interacting with them. You can so easily wish your life away doing that, people just aren't worth it. You have to look inside yourself...
Do just that - look inside yourself; are you happy with who you are? Is it the shyness which is crippling your quality of life? With me, it was a little of both - feeling bad about myself (from bullying @ school) & not being able to really "connect" with anyone because of my shyness - shyness is a bitch, there's no doubting it - sure, if it's occasional it's bearable but if it's a constant thing one can get VERY down... been there, got the t-shirt...
It is difficult to break free from, I'll admit that but every day of being more confident is an extra step to feeling better on the inside. As for guys - sure if you don't feel "worthy" of being loved by anyone, you won't be so likely to take chances with someone, by showing them you like them or by responding to their advances (like holding hands, a peck on the cheek - that kind of thing)... It's tough... Not being able to express your emotions for someone is the worst thing, I think. Then you get someone, but you question why they're with you, you tell yourself they'll soon get bored & leave, you just can't enjoy being with them.
People misinterpret what you're about, also. People might think you're better off on your own, that you even like it that way but in reality, though you might want to escape social situations from time to time, you desperately need someone to take notice, for someone to care...
I'm your friend & so is Jesus. I wonder if you have a faith? It can be wonderfully uplifting - to know that someone loves you no matter what, that there is always one friend who's always there to listen - it's a beautiful thing. Also, you meet likeminded people through the Church & you make friends more easily since those people won't judge - they accept you for who you are, shyness & all :) People like me, who want you to be part of something, to care about you - to be real friends to you :)
I hope I have given you some hope, it's terrible to hear someone contemplate suicide, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time - it achieves nothing but cutting down a beautiful individual who would have had so much to life for - so much to achieve. So please, don't let these thoughts take over - as impossible as it may seem now, you've got to get out there. Do things YOU enjoy, hobbies, clubs, societies & so on. Find people who are like you, you are not alone...
Relationships with guys will follow naturally, feeling good about yourself & having confidence is the most attractive quality a person can possess and for all of us, no matter how dire a situation may seem, it is never unattainable...
You can get through this, just be strong - it won't always be this way. Have some confidence & love yourself - there are so many people out there who'll cut you down without you doing their jobs for 'em :)
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