Title: Dating a guy for 2 years. In love. He is confused!

By: DusterSoapBunny

Hi everyone! I have been with this guy for about two years starting in January 2003. (We don't consider it dating, it is more than that) Let’s call him Jack. In the beginning our relationship was very serious and we were very obsessed with one another. We spent all the time with one another and had plans for getting married and so on. We are each other’s first loves. Then I "cheated" by telling my guy friends online that I loved them. He found out in August 2003. Yes I do consider that cheating even if I felt nothing for those friends of mine or had no physical contact with them. Jack and I stopped hanging out after October 2004 but we still spoke on the phone every day and continued to tell each other we loved one another. He kept on giving me hope that we would be together again and spend more time together. Around June 2004 we started spending more time together. Then I had to go away for a month and while I was gone I found out he had cheated on me twice, one for 5 months and the other for about 2 weeks [they were both out of state girls], he liked another girl a lot, and he had kissed another girl [the one he liked, on the cheek]. I was heart broken over it. When I got back from my trip I was ready to get him out of my life. The only problem was that I still loved him and I wanted to be with him. I tried liking someone else but it didn’t work out. I found out that he still loved me and so on. One day when we hung out he even kissed me a few times. I was so confused.


Now we hang out constantly and kiss and talk on the phone for hours and tell each other we love another and buy each other gifts but there is a problem. He just sees “us” as something more than friends but not together. This bothers me a lot. It makes me feel used and what not. We don’t have sex or do any sexual stuff, but I still feel like I am getting used. Also no one knows about my feelings for him or his feelings for me. And he never says anything about our future together and so on. I know for a fact he is afraid to grow up, but I don’t see how finding your soul mate would make you grow up faster.


Now I am faced in the situation where he wants to try dating other people so we don’t get bored with one another [because sad to admit it is an ok idea since we know everything about each other but we still are in love]. I don’t know what to do. Should I try dating someone else? The only reason I would date someone else was to make him jealous and to make him realize what he lost. Then I would probably go back to him with a clean fresh new relationship. I asked him what he looks for in a girl and he listed it and he said it matched me 100%, so why can’t he be happy with me? I mean I know there are other girls out there, but he has me, and it isn’t like I would get mad at him if he looked at them, because god gave us eyes for looking. Sorry for this very long post I hope everyone reads it, I just thought it would be easier to give out the information so you would kind of know my situation. So in the end should I date another guy and take the chance of ruining what I have or possibly fixing it, or should I sit here and wait for him to grow up and realize what he has is good enough?

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - This looks tough!
Answer by: love pro adviser