Title: Will i ever get him back? v.v.long but plz help!

By: Stateofconfusion

OK
Theres a guy, who im completely in love with. we had a thing goin for most of this yr. but it was complicated and we never 'went out'. but things were good, they were amazing. at 1 point i had 2 make a decision between him and this other guy. for sum reason i ended up being with this other guy! it was a complete mistake! and i told the guy (S) that it was a mistake and that i still liked him, and i didnt go out with the other guy long, longer than i liked coz i didnt wanna hurt his feelings, and i hate dumping ppl but i wish so much now that i just had done!!!
I hurt the guy i like so much. but he knew how i felt about him whilst i was goin out with the other guy etc. so when i broke up with the other guy, things sorta happend with S but we didnt go out. things were really good tho. we sed we loved eacheother, coz we really did.
in the summer, we didnt get to see eachother much, but we did a bit and things were still good. we made sure we saw eachother b4 he went on holiday with his mate for 3weeks. he txted me when he was on holiday to ask me how my AS results were, and he sed 'hey darling' etc so things still seemed good. then bout a week later he came back, so i txted him and i didnt hear from him until bout 2days later, tellin me that he didnt think it wud work out coz too much has happened. i had a feeling it was coz of sum1 else. i t really hurt me and i was really upset. and when we came back 2 school a few days later he was goin out with sum1 else. who was in his group of friends, her best friend is goin out with his best friend etc. it just felt like it was convenience really.
we were still friends, tho its v.difficult havin 2 see them evryday 2gether. he told a couple of my friends that he didnt see it bein long term with her and that he didnt wanna b with her when he went to uni. and that as soon as he has finished with her he will b after me again. my friend sed that i prob wudnt like that but he sed thats what i did to him, which is fair enough really.
but i hav no idea where i stand with him. late sept/ oct time another guy sed that he liked me and that he had done for ages. he had caused a lot of problems for me and S in the past, interferring etc. And S has apparently sed 2 sum ppl that he didnt like this guy spendin so much time with me and he has slagged him off quite a lot to me. this other guy knows that i am still in love with S and i dont like this other guy that way so nothing will happen.
last week, we noth went on a school trip to spain and on every coach trip on on the plane there he sat next to me or asked me to come sit next to him, even tho he has ppl who are in his group of friends on the trip. one night on the coach, we had a talk abotu us and about what happened and he sed i hurt him and i sed he hurt me etc and i told him how i still feel about him. i cried a bit and i saw him wiping his eyes. i then fell asleep and woke up cold and he gave me his jumper and put his arm around me and pulled me towards to sleep on him and gave me a kiss on the head etc. he gave me a few kisses like that. however he is quite a touchy person like that, but i dont thnk he wudve done that if he thought id get the wrong impression esp after our talk. during the trip he told me i looked gorgeous a few times and once came up behind me, held my waste and gave me a kiss on the cheek, just outta the blue. it was v. confusin for me. on the plane back, he sat in front of me and when we were landing he put his hand back and held my hand, strokin it etc.
on the coach journey home, i sat with a girl who is a friend of his, and most importantly a friend of his girlf. she asked me whats the deal with me and s and she sed she cud tell i still liked him so i admitted i really did. she sed that him and his girlf look really cute together, but they dont hav what we had. she sed that hes just diff around me, esp when he thinks no1 can see. but she sed that if he messed her around he wud make too many enemies. which is true, coz of them bein in the same group, and evry1 loves her, shes one of those ppl evry1 thinks is perfect, head girl etc. and it wud lose him a lot of friends, and his social life is v.improtant to him. so i actually really dont think he cud ever dump her, thats if he even wants to. so i think they'll just be 2gether for ages, whcihc kills me. esp if im told things like that its obv he still likes me. but i dunno if theyre just tellin me tat coz they think its what i wanna hear or what?! i dunno if its true? or maybe if it was true but isnt now?
but its all i think about. i cant move on. my ex wants to go back out wth me, but i dont feel that way about him or ne1 bcoz of how i feel for S. i dont kno what to do. i want to move on but i cant, coz there isnt ne1 i feel this way about. am i kiddin myself that he still has feelings for me? if he does will he act on them? i feel like i cant move on unless i find sum1 i feel the same about, i compare evry1 2 him and no1 compares!
PLZ JUST HELP BY GIVING UR VIEWS!? IM SO CONFUSED!

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Monday, November 1, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan