I met this guy about a month ago. He is one of my friend's friend, and the reason we met was because I needed someone to go to the formal with (prom-like thing). We had been texting and talking on MSN the week before we met, just so we'd get to know a little bit about each other before actually meeting up.
So on the day there was me, him, my friend and another girl who my friend bought along. My friend and her friend walked behind us, so I was "forced" to walk with him. It wasn't so bad though because we immediately hit it off. He was attractive and made a good first impression on me. He also told me that I was a "nice package" and said I was good-looking.
Afterwards I offered to give him a lift home, and I was glad I did because I got more time to talk to him. After leaving him home, he sent me a message saying that he had a really good day and that he was going to kiss me on the cheek to say thanks but didnt because he didn't want to seem forward or anything. After reading that, I couldn't stop smiling and I phoned my friend as soon as I got home, telling her how well the day went.
It was then that I realised I really like him, and I just couldn't stop thinking about him that night. I think I only got about five hours of sleep.
We were texting and talking to each other on MSN for the next few days and although it was nice that he was interested in me, I felt a bit uncomfortable because he had mentioned taking me out for dinner - and this was straight after the first time we met. He also invited me to all these parties - on Boxing Day and in February - and to the cinema in May. I thought it was going too fast.
We met up to go to the cinema a couple of days later (the day before my formal), because I wanted to get to know him more. After all, I was going to be spending between 5-6 hours with him at the formal.
At the cinema he paid for me, which I thought was really sweet. After the film, I gave him a lift home (he doesn't drive!). This time he kissed me on the cheek. Again, I received a text message from him saying, 'I had a good time. The film was good, but the company was far better. Funny thing was, when he kissed me on the cheek I immediately thought to myself, 'No, this is not going to work. I only want us to be friends.' Yet beforehand I fantasized about him kissing me, and how much I would like him to. So I don't know what happened there.
The next time we met was the very next night - for the formal. I wasn't really sure how I felt about him that night. I felt a bit tied down because it was my formal and he didn't know many people there. I wanted to dance with my friends, but felt bad if I just left him sitting at the table. I did slow dance with him for most of the night though. We got rather close while dancing and he kept kissing me on the cheek.
Then what happened next is a bit of a blur to me - he kissed me on the lips...but it wasn't a proper kiss. He kissed the corner of my lips more like. I think it was because I pulled away...I don't know why.
At the end of the night he just gave me a kiss on the cheek.
A few days later, he asked me if I was comfortable with him kissing me. I didn't know what to say because I know he likes me, so if I had've said that I was comfortable with him kissing me he might've asked me out. Or he mightn't have. I assumed he was heading towards asking me out anyway.
What I said next might've been stupid...I don't know. Bare in mind I was still confused about whether I would want to go out with this guy because of his forwardness. I told him that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend because I want to concentrate on school and that it wouldn't be fair on him if we did go out because I would be too busy. He seemed to take it well...well he said he understands.
I texted him later that night, asking if he's ok and he said, 'I'm fine. I just wanted you to know that I like you. I know I made it slightly obvious but it's hard not to because you're just...words can't explain...you're great in every way!'
At this stage, I wasn't sure if I had made the right choice.
We continued to talk on MSN and text each other anyways so that was ok. But then he seemed to get even more keen on me, even though I told him I wasn't looking for a boyfriend at the moment. Maybe he was trying to change my mind. I don't know. But the more he liked me, the more I went off him.
I had also cancelled on him a few times when he had asked me to go out. Well not exactly cancelled...I'd ask him if he wanted to go out sometime but then I'd be too tired or have too much work to do. Or if he asked me to go out for a drink, I'd decline because I'm not the type to go out for drinks.
But then he hardly came on MSN anymore, and he texted me less frequently. I didn't like that. It was then when I realised that I DO like him and want to go out with him. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was because I was missing the attention or maybe he didn't seem so clingy and obsessive anymore.
I began to get all paranoid and upset over it, thinking "What if he doesn't like me anymore?" I hated the thought of him liking someone else. Then one night he told me that he's been thinking about his ex girlfriend and might get back together with her. Now this broke me completely. I know it's my fault that I didn't seize the opportunity when I had the chance. I replied with a, 'Maybe you should give it another go then!' He didn't reply to my message.
After hearing that, I felt hurt. Still do, I suppose. I feel stupid too because it's my fault.
Then a couple of days later my friend (the one who introduced us) told me about how some guy likes her, so I asked her who it is. And guess who it is? Yep, that's right. It's him. Was he trying to make me jealous? Well it certainly worked. I also felt angry - how can he be practically obsessed with me one week then like my friend the next? Also, he told me he kissed some girl in a club over the weekend. Now that really pushed me to the limit. I immediately deleted his number from my phone. I know he can do whatever he wants because it's not like he's my boyfriend or anything, but I still feel hurt. And I want to know if he's doing all that just to make me jealous.
This made me eager to find out whether he still likes me or not, so I asked him if he wanted to go to the cinema on Thursday night. He said yes, and that was the first time I had met up with him since the formal which was about a month ago.
So we went to the cinema and he paid me in again. I then drove him home and he kissed me on the cheek and said, 'I had a good time, I always do.' I really wanted him to give me a proper kiss! I need a signal...anything but a kiss on the cheek. He's done it before and it feels like we're not moving anywhere. Is he afraid to do anything else because he thinks I only want to be friends?
He then texted me and said, 'I had a good night. Should do it again soon!' I said, 'Yeah, we should do it again soon.' and he said, 'Yeah, definitely again soon!' Then I said, 'Do we have to go to the cinema? We've already been twice. Can we not go someplace else?' and he said, 'What about a meal next time or something?' I said, 'Sure. Only if you're paying' (joking of course) and he said that he didn't mind.
So...please tell me what you think. I am really sorry this problem is so long. I guess I'm just confused. Is he worth it? Should I tell him that I've liked him all long? Should I let fate decide? Does he still like me?
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, December 28, 2004 - tell him
Answer by: AutumnsTragedy
Tell him that you have liked him all along.
He seems very open about his feelings, thats how my boyfriend is. As a matter of fact the first time we went out, he called me that night. And it really wasnt even a date, there was 4 of us there. Well maybe a double date, anywho, he called me, I was still with my exboyfriend at the time, but I really liked my boyfriend. He was so open and I REALLY REALLY wasn't. It was hard for me to tell anyone in the past "hey i miss you" over the holiday breaks, or say something like "I had a good time" and here he was telling me he had had a really good time. I ended up in his arms that night and you know what I said that was really really out of character for me? I said "Remember when we were at the restraunt, and i was with you.. (in his arms) you know..I..I liked that" and he said "Me too, I really liked it too". We plan ahead and at first when he did that it scared me you know? On that same night we started to plan ahead. My mind was spining thinking "wait wait! Got to break up with my boyfriend first!"
He felt so much for me. And I was scared at first. No one had every told me that they were thinking about me all day, or that I made them want to live, or that they without me they'd die.
You know, he told me he'd probably die without me the day after we first we went out on that date? I was scared. Who wouldn't be, but I realised, you know what? Those are HIS feelings, and I have mine. You can't stop what someone else is feeling. You just have to let it go. I quickly realised how much I felt for my boyfriend, and soon enough, I knew that I would die without him too.
I know it can be scary.
But it can also be really beautiful.
You almost lost him once and look what it did to you.
What if next time you loose him for real?
He was just making you jealous.
Messege him on msn or text him with "Hey could you call me".
It will be hard, but in the end, believe me, it will be worth it.
If you want anymore advice i'm at "some rocker girl" on aim
--- Thursday, December 23, 2004 - Thanks
Answer by: luvalbe_kitten
Thanks for responding. Yeah, I am a VERY shy person. I thought I'd sort things and ask if he wanted to give things a go...because it was eating me up inside that he didn't know how I feel. Anyways we're going out now :D It's been 4 days lol.
--- Monday, December 20, 2004 - Tell him how you feel
Answer by: some_guy_542
Obviously, you seem like a very shy person. I think you should talk to him and tell him your feelings for him. Also you should tell him that you feel stupid about what you said that made him feel like you don't like him.
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