Title: In love with one, girlfriend of another...

By: Kage

A little more than a year ago I met a guy two years older than me, Alex, and it was pretty much love at first sight. We met in the arcade and I saw him there pretty much every weekend for about 3 months. We flirted a lot but nothing ever came of it. I never asked him out because I knew that my way overprotective mom would/will not let me go out with anyone older than me (even though I am 17 and he is 19, and I don’t feel that this is too old). He fit my idea of my dream guy exactly, we had the same interests, our personalities match really well, he’s everything. He seemed to like me, but I was never quite sure, and I thought I had no chance—since I view him as the most perfect guy in the world. I was heartbroken when he said he was going into the army the first week in January 2005. Since January I’ve only seen him once, when he came on for a week or two in April. I didn’t have an email address, or a phone number, until I found him on a blog site (myspace). We started emailing, and we discovered that we had the same feelings for each other. We became good friends, and I asked him to my high school homecoming dance—while he assumed that I didn’t like him that way anymore, he said he would gladly go, and he applied to get discharged. My hope was being renewed in that possible relationship and I still thought I loved him as much as ever. While this was going on, I met a boy at my school over myspace, Evan. He’s a year younger than me, and when he first randomly started talking to me online, he had recently been dumped by his girlfriend of over two years. Before long, he liked me… a LOT. And even though I was waiting for Alex, I hadn’t heard from him in quite a while, and I started having feelings for Evan. But still, I tried to focus on Alex, even when my parents absolutely forbade me to go *anywhere* with him, and older guy. This upset me, and in my moment of emotional weirdness, I emailed Alex and told him that I was in love with him, and I had been for a long time. To my surprise, he said that he still feels the same, and gave me his phone number. We talked on the phone a few times. But then we didn’t talk or email for quite a while… I thought he had forgotten about me. So I agreed to go out with Evan.
Alex didn’t make it home in time for homecoming. In fact, he’s still away in the army, but keeps saying he’ll be released pretty much any day, since he was injured during training and all. But now I’ve been with Evan for a little more than a month. I haven’t told Alex about Evan. Evan doesn’t know I still have feelings for Alex, or that I’ve been talking to him for quite a while.
So what should I do? I still think I’m in love with Alex, and he’ll be coming back soon. Both him and I know we can’t be together until at least next year, when I’m out of the house and my parents can’t control who I see anymore. I just don’t know if he’d be willing to wait months just to be with me, even though we’re perfect for each other. And what about Evan? He’s so sweet, and it makes more sense to be with him… considering how my parents actually allow it, and how I see him everyday. I know that Alex who hasn’t really been around many girls since he’s been in the army for most of the year still likes me a lot, and he always tells me that the only good that came from him going into the army was me telling him how I felt… but I know that Evan is falling in love with me…
I don’t know what to do. I feel like a horrible person for being in this situation… and I never thought I would have a problem like this. But I just don’t know what to do. Alex will be coming home within the next month, so I may have to make a decision soon. I know I’m only 17 and I may not even know what real love is, but I do know that I do care about the two of them very much and I don’t want to hurt either of them. What should I do??

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Thursday, November 3, 2005 - hmmm...
Answer by: xxlindsay286