Things to avoid when arguing or fighting with your relationship partner:

1. criticism,
2. contempt,
3. defensiveness and stonewalling (withdrawing from talking)

Good things to use in an argument:

1. Using humor to break tension in an argument.
2. Expressions of affection for your partner.
3. Acknowledge your partners point of view.

Two key things about a relationship:

1. It is important to build and maintain a FRIENDSHIP in your relationship and that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt when times are tough... namely TRUST!
2. You have a choice of either saying something that will nurture or rip up your relationship every time... think before you speak!

The above information comes from an article by Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. is William Mifflin Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington who has been doing research for 28 years on married couples. A 10-year study came up with a way of predicting with 88% to 94% accuracy if a relationship will fail or flourish. These are the pointers that came from an article in Psychology Today (October 2000) by the Professor and Sybil Carrere, Ph.D., a research scientist at the University of Washington.